Lent Exercises: Confess - Unearthing Hunger for Relationship with God

This week I spent an hour talking to students at Cornell University about God.  “How do you know God really exists,” was one of the first questions.  

I used to answer that question philosophically.  I’d say, “Did you know there are something like 100 arguments for God’s existence,” naming a few.  “There’s the kalam cosmological argument, there’s the argument from motion, the argument from beauty, the moral argument, the argument from purpose… which one do you want to talk about?”  

This approach led to fascinating conversations but, the conversations rarely changed us.  Then one day I watched my friend Ashley respond to the same question.  “How do you know God exists,” a student asked.  Ashley looked at the student for a moment and said, “Because I’ve met him.”  Suddenly the conversation shifted.  It was no longer about ideas and abstract principles it was about a person.  

There was something powerful and honest in Ashley’s answer.  His honest confession created space for the student to share his disappointment with God.  Both men were changed by the encounter. 

The conversation unearthed a desire in me.  Even though I was a minister, I was more comfortable talking about God than I was honestly confessing him.  My approach was as much a way of avoiding a God as it was of sharing him.

In Luke 5:1-11 we’re told that Jesus asks Peter for use of his boat so he can teach the crowd.  Then he asks him to go out to the deep water and put out the nets.  It’s the wrong time of day.  Peter had already worked all night with no luck, but he does as Jesus asks.  The catch fills two fishing boats to overflowing.  

It’s one thing to have a God expressed in beautiful ideas.  It’s another thing to have Jesus get into your daily life and start changing things.  As Peter listened to Jesus teach the crowds he was undoubtedly impressed by this teacher and the ‘authority’ with which he taught.  (See Luke 4).  But the catch of fish unsettled Peter.  

Peter falls down at Jesus’ knees and says, “Go away from me… I’m a sinful man.”  Peter understands that Jesus’ words and direction have, deeply practical, consequences.  He is caught up in Jesus’ life and ministry and isn’t sure he belongs.  Jesus responds with by telling him not to be afraid and inviting him to “catch people.”  This last bit isn’t just a clever word play.  It’s a reference to the prophecy of Jeremiah 16:16, an oracle that is simultaneously hopeful and ominous.  Peter leaves everything to follow Jesus. 

“I know God really exists because I’ve met him,” I said, sharing about my encounters with God in scripture, in prayer, and in ministry.  Jesus has gotten into my world and has changed things.  Like Peter, I’m caught up, in Jesus’ life. He is not a set of ideas or a moral vision. He is a person who has upended and redirected everything. 

How has Jesus gotten into your daily life?  What is that like for you?