I Give Up – Praying While Fatigued and Discouraged
“It’s exhausting,” Jean, a Haitian American friend said, “to have to explain to well-meaning colleagues.”
“I’m not even sure what can be said or not said at this point,” Brian said. “I want to be a good ally and advocate, but I’m not sure how to help.”
“I’m just tired.” Have you heard, said, or read that phrase this week?
Fatigue is normal in a moment like this. We were already collectively grieving the loss of life, work, economic stability because of COVID-19. It’s even deeper as we grieve deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery. It’s ok to be tired.
When we’re exhausted it’s hard to connect to God. We feel like we just don’t have the energy but creating space for God can be just what we need. Here are some simple ways to pray when you’re tired.
1. Pray as you CAN, not as you CAN’T.
Often we don’t make time to pray when we’re tired because we know we just don’t have the energy to pray for 20 – 30 minutes. If our normal ‘quiet times’ involve scripture reading, reflection, bible study, or journaling we can be defeated before even starting. Instead of setting out to pray for an extended period when you’re tired, take advantage of small moments to take a deep breath and become aware of God. Praying for 3 minutes in this way without guilt or anxiety is better for the soul than trying to push yourself through a set prayer time.
If you can steal away for a few moments, you’ll be able to try way #2.
2. Pray what IS in you, not what OUGHT to be in you.
There is no feeling or perspective we can’t bring to God in prayer. “God, I’m so tired. Help!” Is as spiritually meaningful a prayer as the prayer of St. Francis or 10 minutes of journaling. There is no need to get into a spiritual mood to pray. As you’ve taken a few moments to spend time with God, simply direct your attention to God as best as you can. Light a candle or look at a verse of scripture and let that be enough. Then pray whatever words or silence you have to give.
Being present to God, offering only what you have, can be helped by way #3.
3. Pray ONE SENTENCE.
In the midst of Jesus’ grief over the death of his friend Jesus weeps and then prays, “Father, I thank you for having heard me….” (John 11:41) His prayer is simple, direct and to the point. It’s a prayer in the midst of grief expressing confidence in God compressed into one sentence. Praying this sentence, or one like it, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me…” is a simple way of becoming present to God without needing to sort through all of your inner thoughts and feelings.
Having one sentence to pray may open up space for you to try way #4.
4. Pray LITURGY.
Liturgy is a form of prayer that is prescribed. It’s often compiled from short passages of scripture and some ancient well-known prayers. Reading a liturgy, out loud if possible, is like joining in on the prayers of others, being carried along by them until you’re able to give voice to your own desire for God. A simple liturgy can be found here.
Praying a liturgy can help you rest in prayer, enabling you to try way #5.
5. Sit in SILENCE.
Sitting in silence even for a few moments can be a gift when you’re exhausted. Imagine simply being present to yourself and to God. There is nothing you need to say and nothing you need to do. You are safe. You are seen. You are known. You are loved.
Sitting in silence may refresh you more deeply than you know.
If you, or someone you love, is exhausted this week try praying in these simple ways. Elijah famously met God in prayer in a moment of his exhaustion in 1 Kings 19. In the midst of this story Elijah discovers God in rest and stillness. If a man like Elijah needed to meet God in times of political upheaval and discouragement we’re in good company.