Just Sit Still: Hearing God's Voice in this Season

by Malaya Gaboury

Last week I hit a mental and emotional wall.  The impact wiped me out for the better part of this week. After a bad test at school set off all kinds of feelings, I finally realized how much stress I had been carrying and how overwhelmed I had been feeling on a daily basis. 

After feeling like this, overwhelmed as well as kind of numb and disengaged, for most of the week, I finally realized at a Thursday afternoon prayer meeting just how desperate for God I was. As we read Psalm 63, the first verse jumped out almost immediately.

“You, God, are my God,

    earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

    my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

    where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1)

 As I read that verse, I thought, oh my goodness, this is exactly what I’m feeling right now! God I need you! I long for you! Please fix this! I so desperately wanted to hear God’s voice, wanted him to say something to me about what I was going through. 

It was in this place of desperation that God taught me something about how he speaks. 

I know that God speaks to us through a variety of ways. I’ve experienced hearing God’s voice through Scripture, music, conversations with other people, and even just through the words, phrases, and thoughts that come to mind during prayer. But God taught me this week that he also speaks to us in the moments of numbness. 

Psalm 63 continues, 

“On my bed I remember you;

    I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,

    I sing in the shadow of your wings. 

I cling to you;

    your right hand upholds me.” (verses 6-8)

When David wrote this Psalm, he was in the middle of the desert, running from his son and hiding for his life. His feelings in this moment must have been pretty messy: after experiencing deep betrayal, David couldn’t do much but sit tight in the desert and offer his pain to God. And God is very present to David through the whole night, holding him securely with his right hand. 

I certainly have felt like David this week. Whether it’s grief, anger, numbness, or anxiety, I think we’re all feeling a little like David in some way right now. In addition to whatever’s going on in our personal lives, It’s the middle of October, when there already tends to be a slump when it comes to mental energy and motivation and positivity. It’s also the six month mark since covid hit and quarantine started. Many of us have entered into conversations about racism in our country. Not to mention that this is a controversial election year. No wonder we’re overwhelmed!

And in the midst of it all, what if God’s invitation to us today is to allow Him to hold us securely just like He held David? The lyrics from this song impacted me this week. It’s from a musical about Jesus’ life and is based on the story where Jesus heals Jairus’ daughter. As Jesus sings to the little girl he says 

“So just breathe with Me, just be with Me 

Let your heart start to beat with Me.”

What would it look like to be with Jesus this week? For me this is looking like taking two minutes just to sit still and be present. Sometimes I’ll knit or color or drink coffee, but as I sit I  offer my whole self to God and allow Him to fill me, love me, and hold me. And as I’m doing so, God is meeting me. I’m hearing His voice as He reminds me of the truth about who He is and who I am. I’m hearing His voice as He brings Scripture to mind, helps me to heal and process, and fills me with peace.

Sitting in the midst of numbness isn't a dead moment to God. If you were to take two minutes just to sit and be with God, what might He say to you?